dingoinnuendo:

people who type lol when theyre mad are the people you have to watch out for theyll fucking stab you in the back in a dark alley and steal your wallet whispering “lol” all passive aggressively into your ear. same goes for “lmao”. Watch the fuck out

h0llo:

I want to open a tea shop called “it’s partea time” and ill spike all the tea with vodka


2013 FOB:
We are on the ultimate quest tO KILL A SHIT TON OF PEOPLE AND SAVE ROCK AND ROLL

2014 FOB:
We are on the ultimate quest tO GET OUR CHILDREN SOME WARM MILK BEFORE THEY GO FOR BEDDY-BYES TO THE KITCHEN WE GO *angry violin music starts playing*

the-perks-0f-being-a-cactus:

cor-arcanus:

kcesliv-irot:

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

OMG THIS IS PERFECT IN EVERY WAY

this is how my kids will learn the alphebet

onthesideoftheotters:

bodysexgender:

vexednature:

tuxedoandex:

modernvampiresofnewyork:

What girls look for in guys

  • brown eyes
  • messy hair
  • cute nose
  • 4 paws
  • golden retriever 

but a man looking for a certain thing in girls? misogyny right? guys can’t be like “I look for girls who wear glasses and are thin and like to talk” nope that’s misogyny and it’s horrible. “equality”

oh my god did you even bother reading the post -______-

"not ALL dogs"

m’owner

xyle:

bookslayer13:

xyle:

*unconsciously touches own boobs in public* *remembers im not suppose to do that*

I think you mean subconsciously

no. catch me at your local walmart asleep in the Ball Cage gripping onto my titties for dear life

theheartmaid:

prototype-the-walter-girl:

Biggest plot twist ever

I SWEAR TO GOD I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS I’VE ACTUALLY NEARLY PISSED MY PANTS

dunflower:

who would’ve guessed that two mamas boys playing electric-screamo-ukelele-rap could speak to my soul on so many levels

queenofflutterdash:

do u wanna build a ……………………….slime man 

com-pulsion:

I want a cactus in a cute little pot and I’ll name it after you because you’re a fucking prick.

cassieblack:

arineat:

sigmarikz:

certaflyably:

thirstingaintdead:

Top 3 phrases that’ll create sexual tension

  1. "Make me",
  2. "oh really",
  3. "is that so"

"prove it"

"What’s in it for me?"

"Wanna bet?"

"Scared, Potter?"

australian-government:

awesome-fucking-australian:

changing my boyfriend’s name to Eve so when i introduce him to my homophobic family they’d be like “the bible said Adam and Eve not Adam and…wait” and it’ll basically crush their beliefs because they can’t use an argument against that

And that’s ladies and gentlemen how you end homophobia

coffeeandcockatiels:

topburger239:

FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S 2 TRAILER - IT’S OFFICIAL

Holy s hit this actually looks so cool and the naimations are better and om g i’m gonna die of scared